Posted on August 2, 2013 · Posted in Blog

Your Answers to These Questions Will Determine How Hard or Easy Your Divorce Will Be

divorce is serious business

Divorce is serious business, and you’ve probably never been at these crossroads before. So it’s important that you become aware of the procedures, as well as your rights. There is a lot of self-help information out there, so become informed about mediation and divorce in BC Canada. You’ll never regret it!

Question 1: Is this a threat, or are you serious about divorce?

Too often, the big “D” word comes up in the heat of the moment. One person may wish to be taken more seriously and to get the other person to see things their way. People who use this “card” too often lose credibility with themselves and their spouse. However, if you are genuinely ready and you feel you have done everything in your power to save the relationship, but it’s time to move on, it probably is.

Question 2: Are you sure this is not an emotional reaction.

This is similar to #1, but sustaining your decision to move forward with divorce requires you to make an unemotional decision. If emotional reaction is the trigger to move forward, this type of decision does not last. Individuals who divorce because of anger stay that way well after the divorce is over.

Question 3: Do you still love your partner, or do you have strong feelings still?

If you have regrets at the end of the divorce process because you feel you didn’t try harder, you may be worse off than when you started; so be sure.

Question 4: What is your divorce mission statement?

You should write down your intent and desired outcome of your divorce. If you move forward because you want the other person to change, that is the wrong reason for divorce. Divorce does not have the power to change people and it has only one goal: ending a marriage. Your statement should summarize how you wish to end your marriage.

Question 5: Do you have skin thick enough to weather the difficult consequences of divorce? Are you ready?

The hardest part of divorce is facing the pain that comes with it – your pain, your children’s and those around you. Ask yourself if you are prepared to live with these changes:

    • Your children’s anger and sadness?
    • Your own sadness, loneliness and, perhaps, guilt?
    • Major lifestyle and routine changes which often include fear and insecurity?
    • Reduced quality of life?
    • Being thrown back into the dating game?
    • Letting go, once and for all, of your spouse mentally and emotionally?

If you can respond, “Yes, I can,” then you are ready to move on.

Question 6: Can you put the emotion aside and deal with your divorce in a mature manner and look at it as a business deal?

It does not matter who is leaving whom, the fact is: the marriage is ending. How you handle this fact will determine how hard or difficult the divorce will be, and how quickly you get on with your life.

FancyLine

On the Doorstep of Divorce, or do you need help in Rebuilding After Divorce?
Give us a call at 250.707.0928, or request a consultation.

divorce mediation kelownaAbout Kelowna Divorce Mediation Services

We are not expensive lawyers; we are family divorce mediators and rebuilding coaches.  Our boutique divorce mediation firm has become Kelowna’s first choice when dealing with separation and divorce, and beyond. It is possible to reduce stress, time and conflict. Our mediation and rebuilding models educate and empower our clients, so that when you leave you have a document that is guaranteed to stand the test of time, and a process for rebuilding your life.

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