Posted on January 2, 2014 · Posted in Blog

The Old Way To Divorce

The old, or traditional, way to separate and divorce was for each spouse to “lawyer up.” However, experience and time have proven that resolving family issues through legal channels can be costly and difficult. This is why governments such as British Columbia are passing legislation encouraging mediation as a preferred way to divorce.


J.P. Boyd, a prominent family law lawyer says, “Going to trial will cost a minimum of $15,000 in lawyer’s fees for a two- or three-day trial. Most family law trials are one or two weeks long, and this figure ignores the costs of all the other things that have to happen before you walk into the courtroom on day one!” You can read more by clicking HERE.

Each party’s divorce lawyer shares the goal of a “win” for their client.  This sets up a win-lose outcome often increasing, rather than resolving conflict.  Eventually, a judge will decide the outcome of the issues in question and chances are, this will feel like a lose-lose outcome with far fewer assets left for division.  This is why “The New Way” has become the preferred method for most British Columbia couples ending their relationships (both married and common-law.)

mediation and divorce in Kelowna BCThe New Way to Divorce

Divorce mediation is an alternative to divorce lawyers, encouraged by the BC Family Law Act, and where the neutral mediator helps both sides negotiate their terms for settling their issues. Each party maintains control and this enables them to make decisions that are in the best interests of their family. The process is future-oriented with a focus on finding a win-win, sensible agreement that works for the entire family.

When is mediation appropriate?

As already said, mediation should be the first option considered for separating spouses. Ideal clients for divorce mediation include those who:

  1. desire to be fair with each other, and to stay out of court,
  2. agree to disclose all relevant financial documents,
  3. do not want to use high-priced divorce lawyers,
  4. are either married or common-law,
  5. share a common desire for an uncontested divorce (if married),
  6. both wish to resolve issues in a less adversarial way, and
  7. share a goal to divorce with dignity and in a more peaceful manner.

When is mediation NOT appropriate?

In cases where there has been violence or abuse, we do not recommend mediation.

Kelowna Divorce practices independent negotiation which reduces the ability for one spouse to exert pressure or intimidate the other. The mediation process is voluntary and parties who are unhappy with it can leave at any time. We go out of our way to create an environment that is peaceful and neutral, and rather than “stirring the pot” and causing the spouses more conflict, we work with both individuals to help them find common ground. The issues are resolved based on criteria that are important to both parties.


On the Doorstep of Divorce?
Give us a call at 250.707.0928, or request a consultation.

divorce mediation kelownaAbout Kelowna Divorce Mediation Services

We are not expensive lawyers; we are family divorce mediators.  Our boutique divorce mediation firm has become Kelowna’s first choice when dealing with separation and divorce, and beyond. It is possible to reduce stress, time and conflict. Our mediation model educates and empowers our clients, so that when you leave you have a document that will stand the test of time.

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